I NEED CHANGE! A Complete Life Makeover!

Hey guys, I wanted to share with you some things that have been going on with me lately…recently I came to realize that I need a complete life makeover.

I know that through a social media standpoint, life always seems to look magical but we all know that behind the glamour, lies a person. A real person with needs and wants like everyone else.

As a person who always believes in being authentic and honest, through the good and the bad. I’ve always felt like throughout my life and my travel blogging journey that I will always stay and stick to my truth. I will always be me. Even when it’s not pretty, even if it’s not necessarily politically correct. I’ve always shared with you guys my good and bad travel experiences. But I feel like this year more than ever, I’ve shared a lot of my struggles and heartache with you guys because I believe in the power of being vulnerable and human.

This year started off so differently. It started off with amazing trips, amazing lifelong dreams coming true and I was on cloud 9.

I finally got to travel to the Maldives, a lifelong dream. I also visited Thailand that’s been high on my list since I was a kid. I got to befriend my travel blogging role model and the person who inspired this entire travel blogging journey and become her friend. I was making more money blogging and getting invited to amazing blogging events. The Jetsetter Boss program was launching, a project I was so proud to be a part of from my boys of High On Life and more amazing things were happening and I was well…high on life!

However, early July things took an unexpected turn when my good friends from High On Life passed away in a tragic accident in Shannon Falls, Canada. My world and life had completely changed from that moment. I never knew how it would all affect me or even how to cope with this tragic loss. After weeks of not leaving my house and going through a dark depression and other things that happened in July (like more deaths, my blog being hacked and more). I felt a serious urgency for a major change. It first started off with my blog life and then as time went on I realized I wanted more things to change than I’ve realized.

At first, I questioned myself, “how will I keep my friends from High On Life legacy going? How will I make a difference in this world, how will I live my life differently, how can I create more meaningful content, how can I live a better and greater life. What do I truly want to be remembered for after my last breath here on earth?”, the questions went on and on. Some things I thought I figured out, others I left for the universe and G*d to guide me to but ultimately, I dwelled for these answers for the last few months…

After my recent trips to Vancouver (for the High On Life celebration of life), Palm Springs, Israel, Eygpt and Paris. I’ve been reflecting, thinking and yearning for a change. I took 2 major breaks from social media and the world around me. I dabbled into poetry books, read a Tony Robbins book, watched shows and documentaries and traveled in search of inspiration and answers.

I keep craving something NEW, something I can’t fully put my finger on.

But I simply came to realize that I need and want I complete life makeover.

I want to move out of my apartment, I want a new mattress, I want to makeover my bathroom, I want a bigger house, I want an office, I want a new couch, I want a new space. I need a new car. I want a new computer (thank goodness my dad just gifted me with a new laptop). I want a new phone. I want a drone. I want new friends, I want to fix and rekindle lost friendships. Due to my travel life and trying to run a business all on my own, I forgot about the small things in life. I’m thinking about toying with the idea of finding true love, something I gave up on 6 years ago when I left Baltimore. It’s something I’ve been avoiding and still not fully sure how to overcome my trust through people and men.

I want a closet makeover. I want to travel more, I want to go back to places I’ve been to and missed, I want to try living in a foreign country, maybe even learn a new language…I want to makeover my website, maybe even re-brand and I want to kill out bad habits.

I want the whole world and I’m just not really sure where to begin.

I haven’t figured out all the details to all these things I want to change and do, but what I do know is that I need a life makeover. ASAP

Too Often…

Too often we get stuck in a life we never wanted and while everyone around us might believe that we are living the dream, it’s simply not true and I know from past personal experiences that the only way to create a new drastic change in life is by searching, exploring, relocating and changing our circumstances.

I’m going on 5 years of being a travel blogger and I want the way I do that as well to change. I feel like I’ve been running around the globe, chasing the world and in a way I’m tired. I want the way I do things in my career and life to also change. I want to try to find a balance between travel blogging vs. real life. Too many times in the last 5 years, I’ve let my blog and career consume me. I spent every second of my awake hours working, working, working that sometimes I look back and ask myself, am I even living? Am I doing things “right”?

Instagram & Blogging 

I also don’t feel like I’m exactly where I wanted or planned on being at almost the 5-year mark. I have major frustration with the way things have changed in the industry and especially Instagram. I feel like people don’t travel anymore to actually travel but to take pretty pictures which of course is also part of the job, a major part of the job but what about traveling for the sake of traveling, to make new memories, to expierence other cultures, to do wildly crazy and unique things in different parts of the world, to connect with locals, to hear their stories, to learn, to grow and so on. I feel like no one does that anymore. I feel like people create unrealistic photos of places that are so staged that create an unrealistic expectation for the average person but in a way, I feel like nowadays if you don’t, you don’t get alot of new followers and it’s frustrating to me.

A One Woman Show

I am a one-woman show, I shoot all my own photos, set up tripods, scout locations, edit my photos, Insta-stories, shoot videos for YouTube, edit them myself, find my own music for them (sometimes that alone takes hours). I write my own blog post, designed my entire website, banners, thumbnails and search for perfect hashtags. I research topics to write about, places to see, things to do, book my own flights and accommodations and search for themed outfits to match locations. I pitch brands, I search for jobs/campaigns everyday, engage with all my audience on my own, comment and write back to each and every person who took the time to comment or write me anywhere on my social media because I care and you guys are SO important to me but well, damn, this girl is tired. Overwhelmed. So sometimes I take time outbreaks because it’s too much to handle at times. It becomes insanely overwhelming.

The Truth Behind Instagram…

Many people that you see on Instagram have an entire team or partner they secretly travel with that does alot of things for them and while I’ve thought of doing the same, I also feel like I need to be true to myself. To my needs and desires in life. I love solo traveling, it’s just what I do. Sure, I like traveling with people sometimes but I’m so independent, such a perfectionist that I want things done a certain way. I’m so used to this lifestyle, it’s almost foreign to me to travel with other people because most people want to vacation, they want to rest. I’m restless. I work when I travel. I’m a non-stop machine when I travel. I always feel like I need to get so much things done in such a short amount of time. Sometimes or many times actually I WISH WISH WISH I had someone taking my photos, getting certain angles that I had envisioned and it upsets me that I can’t get certain shots but I always try to do the best I can and sometimes I feel like it’s just not good enough.

I’ve Wanted To Quit This Year More Than Ever

I’m not asking for anyone to feel sorry for me. I’m not that type of a person but sometimes its just nice to let it out. It’s nice to share with the world that not everything is as glamorous as it seems. I have many breakdowns, recently I keep asking myself what am I even doing this for anymore. I feel like sometimes people don’t even care. I feel like sometimes my career and life isn’t really going anywhere. I’ve wanted to quit this last half a year more than I ever have in my entire life because I’m exhausted of chasing a dream, that light at the end of the tunnel that I feel like keeps getting further and further away from me.

Comparing Myself To Everyone Else

I’ve also recently more than ever started comparing myself to other people and I’ve never done that in my life. I came to recently realize it’s because of my fear of failure and lack of confidence towards my career recently and lack of self-belief. I believe that we are the creators of our lives. We may not control everything that happens in our lifetime but we control the outcome, the way we choose to handle things. We are powerful human beings, which can be a powerful and disempowering thing, depending on what you do with that power.

How My Best Friend Helped Me Feel Powerful Again

Recently my best friend came over, while I was having one of my major meltdowns and I told him that I just want to quit everything and that I don’t even know what I’m doing with my life anymore.

He knows me more than anyone else in this world. He saw that I was feeling powerless lately because of many things that have been happening in my life and my stress level over changes I have no control over. I didn’t realize that I was feeling powerless until he pointed that out and I was like “ummm…I guess you’re right”.

He then said, “OK Hofit, how do we get back your power? How can we make you feel powerful again?”, with tears in my eyes, I bursted out and said: “I DONT KNOW!!!”. He then looked at me and said, “Hofit, why did you start doing this whole travel blogging thing, to begin with?”, with tears in my eyes, I said, “because I wanted to travel the world and inspire people to be courageous, follow their dreams, step outside their comfort zone, make the impossible possible, to see this world, to change it for the better…”, he said “GOOD! Let’s refocus on that”. The more I started to think, the more I realized he was right…

My Mission In Life

This was my mission, my goal in life, what I’ve always wanted to do since I was a kid. It was to help people, inspire people, to change their lives for the better and above all make the world a better place and I’m committed to doing that. I have found my souls compass and I want to get back to doing that in my own way, not comparing myself to anyone else because I’m not like everyone else and I’ve never wanted to be like anyone else until recently when I was a bit lost after my friends passing.  I’m committed to stopping the comparisons game.

I have a few fun and exciting ideas on how I will be changing Vanilla Sky Dreaming, my blog/Instagram/YouTube channel and I can’t wait to share with you guys in 2019!

I want to live out my authentic life like always but now more than ever and I can’t wait to have you guys join me on this journey.

I love you guys! xoxo

Happy Holidays

Love Always,

Hofit Kim Cohen

More Info about moving below…