Reflecting On 2019 & How I Discovered My Magic Powers

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What I’m about to share with you might sound super wild and crazy but as this year, 2019, comes to a close, I look back at this year as one of the most meaningful and important years of my life.

Yes, every year of our lives is important and I’ve learned an ocean full every year of my life but this year it was just different…deeper…on a whole other level. I seriously learned so much and I wanted to take a moment and reflect on it with you.

Before I Start…

I understand that what I’m about to tell you isn’t for everyone and that’s ok. I get it. This isn’t for everyone, this is for my believers, dreamers and spiritual beings. It is very personal to me but it’s been such a life-changing year that’s literally out of this world and I never want to forget it, so I’m writing this to have it on record but also on the hopes that it might inspire some of you. lol if not, that’s ok too haha 😉

Ending 2018 On A Bad Note…Almost 

High On Life

2018, almost ended on a bad note. I was broken. Broken with how the second half of 2018 ended up.

I was broke over my friends’ death from High On Life, who lost their lives in a tragic accident in Shannon Falls, Canada. I was also involved with trying to help find a female solo traveler in Costa Rica for a week and then found out she was raped and murdered and it hit me sooo hard. I was a mess over it for a month (to read my thoughts at the time, CLICK HERE). I couldn’t stop thinking about her, her poor family and how justice wasn’t served because it happened in a third world country where crime is handled very differently.

My website was also hacked for over a month and it had a huge impact on my traffic ever since. I felt like my brand and Instagram wasn’t going anywhere, I kept wondering if I should just quit which never crossed my mind before in the last 4.5 years (my blog is turning 6 in Mach!).

I was also going through a private break up from someone I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with and through the process I lost one of my life long best friends.

My lease was almost up too and I wanted to move but I had no idea where to (I still kinda don’t).

I had high anxiety and panic attacks. I couldn’t sleep at night. I would stay up all night thinking about my friends that passed, about the girl from Costa Rica, about life and its meaning. I felt so lost. Broken. Exhausted and just over everything. I was also trying to catch up on bills of the 2 months I didn’t work because of the sadness I had for my friend’s death. I was basically having a mid-life crisis and a totally mental down.

I didn’t care so much about traveling as I did in the past, all I cared about was fixing myself and my life. I knew I need a life makeover (read: I NEED CHANGE! A Complete Life Makeover!) but had no idea where to start.

My Life Needs To Change Dramatically!

Towards the middle of December 2018, I decided that my life needed to change dramatically if I wanted to survive. I couldn’t constantly be sad and worrying about saving everyone I knew. I needed to take care of me — to save me first.

Towards the end of December, I decided I wasn’t gonna go somewhere to celebrate New Year’s Eve like I normally do, I was gonna sit at home with a journal and write down my dreams for 2019 and decide what I wanted to do in my life and how it was gonna change. I even went as far as calling a few psychics on Christmas Eve (I’m Jewish but knew this day had a lot of cosmic energy) and see if I can find some guidance…

Calling A Psychic

lol I know what you’re thinking…calling a psychic is so cheesy and weird but I’ve always strongly believed in the spiritual world and know that certain people have abilities to get messages from a higher power/realm…perhaps I also believed it because when I was in my early 20’s, I had my first spiritual awakening (this story is about my second spiritual awakening) but in my early 20’s, I had some pretty wild powers myself but for years I shut down most of them because things were getting too intense and it would start to scare me.

Anyways I made a few phone calls until I found that one person who I felt and knew was aligned with my soul (she reminded me of my grandma). She told me things that just had my jaw drop at the disbelief of her knowing and tears wouldn’t stop running down my face through our 20min convo.

Side note, I actually recorded the convo on video and was gonna make a YouTube video out of it but wasn’t sure if I should share or not since its so personal…but I still might…. 😉  but let’s get back to the story…

She knew how my friends passed, she knew it was 3 of them, she knew they were young, that it was sudden. She spoke about my grandparents who also passed. She literally blew my mind away and before we ended our phone call, she told me I had the same abilities as her, I just needed to tap into them. I knew there was some truth to what she was saying but I just didn’t know how real and serious she was and how my phone call with her would change my life forever.

During New Years nothing really came to me. Although I wrote some goals, I didn’t have this life-changing epiphany I had hoped. That’s ok because the universe doesn’t work in our linear time but shortly after…weird, amazing, out of this world things started happening! Mystical, spiritual things that I can’t even begin to example (I’ll try though) and understand but they were here to stay! and thank G*d for it!

The 44’s & 444’s

In early January, I had 3 wild life experiences where I thought I would get a super hurt in or possibly die but not a SINGLE thing happened to me physically! I was saved all 3 times. The oddest part is every time these things would happen and I’d look to see what time it was, it was something with a 44 at the end. 1:44, 6:44, 11:44. It almost started to freak me out. Then the “44” started appearing everywhere I turned. Every time I looked at my phone it was _:44 o’clock. EVERY TIME! I started seeing them on freeway exits, license plates, TV product (44Blue Production at the end of Taylor Herny Medium show on E!), in the background of movies, game scores, address I would get, social media notification, phone numbers, emails, I don’t even know how to explain it but everywhere I turned the 44s were there, between 20-50 times a day, it was WILD!

Of course, after a few days of this happening endlessly, I started to wonder…what does this even mean?! What is the universe trying to tell me???!!! After a lot of research, I came to learn that these are called Angel Numbers, sent to us from our angels, passed loved ones & G*d from a different realm.

In the spiritual world, these numbers symbolize that you are being watched over, being protected and not to worry, we are looking out after you. It was clearly so aligned with what I was going through after my friends passing and endless months thinking about them all day and night, my lost soul and almost dying 3 times in one month and seeing 44 on the clock followed right after. It all made sense to me.

Not only that, but I started to discover that my spiritual friends were seeing them too and other spiritual influencers I follow! (Like what the fudge?! Right?)

Mystical Experiences & Lucid Dreams 

I wanted to learn more, to tap into a new realm of reality, to try to understand deeper and better what my purpose was, what was the universe trying to tell me and what am I supposed to do with all this new knowing and how do I change my life with it.

Things were about to get wilder because all of a sudden my past magic abilities were coming back, the ones I have been blocking for a decade AND I CAN fall asleep but not only that, I would have many dreams every night and not just your ordinary kind of dreams, lucid dreams, mystical dreams and my passed loved ones would visit me very often in them.

For the first time, in months, my friends from High On Life would appear in my dreams!

I always knew it would take time for them to transfer into a different realm and that they had to first visit and take care of their close loved ones before I would see them, so I wasn’t worried, I knew they would come, I just wasn’t sure when but they came and it has been one of the most enlightening moments of my life.

At first, they would stand afar but the more I dreamt of them the closer they got to me (probably because they knew it would freak me out at first, so they took their time). We started speaking in my dreams, I would ask them questions and they would give me INSANE out of this world insight and advice that were insanely aligned! They would even give me angel numbers that I would remember when I woke up and look them up and I was always INSANELY shocked and amazed at the accuracy of their alignment/meaning with what I was going through and asking help with. I would dream about them 2-4 times a week for months. It was truly, insanely, life-changing!

My Magic Powers Were Back!

My, what I like to call, “Magic Powers”, were getting stronger and stronger every single day.

I would get visions of things before they happened, I started seeing people’s auras, I was getting an endless amount of insights about my loved ones and knew exactly what they were going through without them even telling me.

So I bought a deck of Oracle/Tarot cards on a new moon one night and things got even crazier. I was doing readings to myself and was blown away to pieces at my abilities and it would bring tears to my eyes at how on point every reading was — each and every single time I did a reading. I started practicing and doing it daily. After about 12-15 times of on point readings, I started doing it for my sister and best friends and again, insanely ON POINT! It blew their mind and mine too personally!

I also learned about different types of meditations and started doing them daily. I started reading articles, watching more YouTube videos on these things, reading endless books, a personal favorite and life-changing book is Becoming Supernatural by Dr. Joe Dispenza. If you’re gonna read ONE book your whole life, it should be this one! It will change your life hands down!

I also ordered Gaia — a spiritual channel with endless docs, interviews and mini-classes from the world’s top and most successful and spiritual people. I also highly highly recommend this channel! LIFE CHANGING!

Learning & Growing Daily

I learned a lot about the moon phases, how it affects us, about the planets, crystals, their effect on us and about the 5th dimension and so much more. I basically never wanted to leave my house. All I wanted to do was learn more, do more with my powers and new awareness and insight and well, I know I sound a bit crazy at this point but really, wild things were happening each and every single day and my life was completely changing in the process!…clearly.

Every day I would share an even crazier mystical experience I had with my mom and sister and they were shocked.

I was less interested in traveling and more interested in learning more and more. I felt like everything I ever wanted and was looking for was all in these endless resources I had found.

Manifesting Crazy Things

I was also manifesting insane things! I would say to the universe, “I’d like to go on a press trip!” and boom! The next day a freakin EMAIL from a company or a tourism board would be inviting me to cover their destination or product. I actually managed to pull this off THE ENTIRE YEAR! This year, all the traveling I did except for one trip to Palm Springs/Joshua Tree was all media trips AKA trips that were completely free! It’s also the year I went on the most press trips in my life and the best part was I was getting paid for it too!

Not only that, but I would also manifesting press trips to exact destinations I was interested in! Thailand! Vegas! Flordia! It’s just mind-blowing to me!

I’ve managed to manifest the highest income I’ve ever made from blogging this year — it blew my mind away! I was able to manifest amounts I only thought were meths or only happened to people with a half a million followers on Instagram. I also recently became a Revolve Ambassador which has been a dream in the making for over 5 years! and I cried my eyes out with joy and excitement!

I also launched my first digital product in early Feb — my lightroom presets filters — check them out HERE!

I decided to share my private thoughts, heart and soul with you guys through my Instagram captions. I add a new section to my YouTube channel focusing also on spirituality and manifesting and it’s been so inspiring to me! I still have an endless list of video content I want to create for you guys which will probably happen in my next dream home, so don’t think I’ve stopped completely.

This year I learned an ocean full about myself, the world and the universe.

I am next level grateful with all of my heart and soul for all my blessings, for all the gifts the universe, G*d, Ryker, Alexy, Megan, my grandparents and whoever else is looking out for me from above there has bestowed upon me.

Don’t get me wrong, I still had my ups and downs this year, but sooooo much of it has been a blessing. Every single day.

I can’t freakin wait for 2020 because I have so much dreams and things I plan on doing with my life and brand! and I’m so grateful to have you here with me to see my process of growth. Thank you.

I still don’t have all the answers. I left my apartment end of August and have been living out of my suitcases + Peanut for the last 4 months. Still looking for that perfect place in the world that I want to settle down in for the next few years or so and when I figure that out I’ll let you know but I think I have a pretty good idea where I’d like that to be 😉 so stay tuned!

Anyways, that’s it! Thank you for reading! I love you! I hope you had a beautiful and amazing 2019 and sending you so much love, happiness, success and health in 2020! May all of your dreams come true!

**And in case you’re wondering… I still see the 44 everyday a few times a day and in 3 weeks it will be an entire year!
Not a single day missed. 😉

 

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